Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Dog Talk

Somehow, likely due to a devious combination of pleas and plotting from the kids, our family has three pets -  two cats and one dog. We're decent pet owners in that we usually remember to feed them on schedule, and take them to the vet every so often. We love and care for them... just not to the same degree that we love and care for the actual human members of our family.

We know a few people that are pet crazy to the extreme. They're the sort that will buy car seats for dogs, take them to dog salons, and when coming to our house will talk to the animals before saying a word to the people that live here. Umm....we're not like that.

This is more our style:

Me: OK, time to go kids. Who's going to put Trinket in jail? I put on my outside shoes and grab my purse, which sends the dog into a frenzy of barking and jumping.

K-boy: All right! Come here Stink Dog! (this is said in a falsetto, baby talk voice) Who's getting locked in the crate? Who's getting locked in the crate?

The dog successfully evades K-boy's first attempt at grabbing her, all the while keeping up her horribly annoying understandably distressed barking.

D-boy: Just shut up, Trinket! Ow, my ears!

Me: Language, D-boy! Trinket quiet down, you're just going in your crate for a few hours while we go out and have fun without you.

M-girl: (in a super high pitched voice) Oh Trinket! Come here girl, come here!

D-boy: Shut up, M-girl! My ears!

Me: No saying that D-boy! M-girl, stop. It is annoying. Stop jumping dog, before someone steps on you!

K-boy: (again in a falsetto) Come on Dinky Dog. We'll be back in a few hours. Unless we never come back, and you're in jail forever. Either way you're going in your crate, so calm down.

By now, we all have our shoes on and the dog is practically having conniptions. I finally reach down, scoop her up and hand her off to K-boy.

Me: (in a sweet baby voice) Come on you evil, monster dog. You know you have to go in jail, because if we leave you out you'll chew all of the cushions. We'd take you if we could but....

K-boy: We don't want to! Ha ha ha! He carries her off to her crate in the basement. He'll give her a treat to occupy her while we're gone.

D-boy: Cats are just smarter than dogs. That's just the way it is.

Looking over at the cats calmly watching us prepare to leave, I can only agree. The dog goes crazy every single time we leave the house.

We walk out to the car, shaking our heads and listening to the dog whine pitifully. Oh well, she'll get over it!

Don't hate us too much if you're the extremely pet crazy type. We really let her out again, I promise. Almost as soon as we get home too!

linking to: 
Finding the Funny


  1. LOL!!! This is just so funny.

    We barely even feed our dog purchased dog food...she has become rather attached to table scraps. I know alot of people frown on that too, but's cheaper and she does not give so many people allergies in comparison to when she is only eating dog food.

    Cute story, I love it!

    1. Oh yes, our dog makes due with an inexpensive brand of dog food. Some of the dogs that we know get fancy food, but I don't think Trinket knows the difference.

  2. Patricia, we have two dogs (had three but just put our Boxer down last Saturday :-(

    and we call our dogs ALL kinds of "nic names" too! Our puppy, who is now 9 months old, has been called "puppy vicious", "shark teeth", "demon dog" and on very rare occasion, "angel puppy".

    I do spoil my dogs, although they are well-trained, but I don't treat them better than my humans! And I don't hold it against people if they don't spoil their pets. As long as animals aren't mistreated, I'm a-okay!

    Fun and funny post!


    1. I'm sorry to hear about your Boxer, Pamela. That must have been hard. We have affectionate names for our children too, so I guess it's not too bad to have them for the pets! I know quite a few people who laugh at themselves for spoiling their pets, but it just makes them happy to do so.