Manners Matter

There was a time when parents tried to teach manners to their offspring. Little things like, please and thank you, were emphasized at home in the hopes that once in public the children would remember the social niceties. Many of us parents of today, still struggle to pass on this increasingly archaic tradition of teaching our children to be...well, nice.

After reading another blogger's post about people who don't greet others in passing, I got to thinking. The problem today isn't just other people's children being rude. The problem is really that their are just so darn many rude adults roaming around out there. No wonder so many kids don't have a clue how to behave!

Yesterday I personally was the victim of two blatant cases of adult rudeness. Both of these were perpetrated by other parents in front of their children, which to me just makes it worse.

I was up at my daughter's dance school, minding my own business, while I waited for her ballet class to let out. While I was watching the class through the window, a little boy next to me kicked off his shoe. It landed at my feet, so I bent down to pick it up, and handed it to the boy's father, saying with a smile, "Here you go!"

I got nothing in acknowledgement. Not a thank you. Not even a smile. I was mildly irritated, but went back to focusing on my daughter's class.

Then, after class was over, M-girl and I were walking out of the studio through a set of double doors. There was a girl in her class walking with her father, just a couple of feet behind us. Being that I generally try to avoid letting doors slam in people's faces, I held the door for them. TWICE.

Again, not a word of thanks. I have to admit that after the first door I was a wee bit tempted to let the second one slam, but I have to set an example for my own daughter so I refrained from doing that.

Is it really asking too much for others to practice common courtesy? To invest a split second in saying "thank you" or even giving a quick smile of acknowledgement? Dare I suggest reminding the child to use their manners?

Perhaps, for some people today, that really is asking too much. It's just that for those of us who still strive to practice the manners of yesteryear (and I know there's plenty more of you out there), this can be a bit vexing.

Happily, I think I've come up with a solution that would work for everyone. If those people who choose not to use the manners that I know their mamas must have once taught them, would just kindly identify themselves to the rest of us, we'll leave you alone. I would suggest a badge that could be attached to shirts. It could proclaim something like, "I'm rude", or "Uncivilized". That would be a signal to all around them not to waste social niceties on them.

Think of all of the aggravation that would save! If only those gentlemen men had been wearing something to identify themselves as boors, I wouldn't have felt obligated to exert myself on their behalf. I would have left the shoe untouched (or perhaps even kicked it aside) and swept through the doors without a thought for those behind me.

Aaahh! What a thought! Even writing this has me cringing. I have to face facts. I am just not a rude person. I wasn't raised that way, nor am I bringing up my own children to act like that. Instead, maybe next time I am met with such rudeness, I will sweetly but loudly say, "You're welcome!"

Take that rude people!


linking to:  Pour Your Heart Out