Why Blogging and Cooking Don't Mix

Yesterday, when D-boy and I were at the grocery store he spotted frozen, waffle cut, sweet potato fries. His eyes lit up. He absolutely loves sweet potatoes.

The ultimate french fry, he murmured reverently.

Of course I had to buy them for him.

So last night while BadDad grilled burgers on the patio, I popped the fries in the oven, made a salad, and decided to blog. There was just one problem with my plan...

I forgot to set the timer and quickly lost myself in the blogosphere.

My hubby came in, saw the potato carnage and declared, D-boy's going to freak out.

Luckily, our little guy is the forgiving sort. Undaunted by the sheer horror of the situation, he noticed that even the blackened fries still had some good parts. He set about pulling the burned bits off and dinner was saved. Crisis averted.

Still, I'll be leery evermore of blogging while cooking. They just don't mix.

Linking to:  Finding the Funny

Challenge Them to Learn

Last week M-girl had a substitute ballet teacher. As I peered through the window in between chapters of the book I was reading, I noticed that the sub was doing things a bit differently than her regular teacher, but I really didn't think much of it at the time. Of course, I quit ballet at the ripe old age of three, so I'm not exactly an expert.

When class was over, I asked M-girl how it was having a sub. She looked up from changing into her street shoes, and replied in a subdued tone, It was fine.

No sooner had we shut ourselves into our car than her real feelings emerged.

Mom, it was horrible! she said. She didn't teach us anything. She seemed like a very nice person, but she was too nice to be a teacher. She wouldn't correct us at all!

As both a mom, and a homeschool teacher I was surprised and pleased by this outburst from my 8 year old daughter. Further discussion revealed that M-girl, suspicious that the sub was overly praising the students, began to purposely do the dance steps wrong - and was never corrected.

Contrary to what some adults might think, she wasn't relieved at the lack of pressure...she was outraged. I think she really felt insulted that the sub was underestimating her abilities, and liberally handing out worthless praise.

I couldn't resist jumping on the opportunity to point out that my hubby and I demand their best from her and her siblings, because to do less would indeed be cheating them of the opportunity to find out what they are capable of. She agreed, in her worked up, angry state of mind.

I'm not kidding myself. I know that there will be plenty of battles ahead with my children. My hubby and I will have to be tough sometimes, and push them to meet marks that they see no need of reaching. We'll do it because we love them, and we want them to reach their individual potentials.

It was really nice to have my daughter express so clearly her desire to learn and to be challenged to do better. It can be easy for parents fail their kids with the best of intentions. It's natural to want to shelter our children from the setbacks that true challenges entail. It's becoming all to common these days to hand out trophies and prizes to children just for participating, instead of allowing them to experience the sense of achievement that only hard work and practice can bring. Empty praises mean nothing, and kids are smart enough to pick up on that. Rewards that come too easily don't feel truly earned.

So thank you substitute ballet teacher. You are a nice lady, and I owe you one. I just won't be putting my daughter in your class again. She is a girl who wants to learn.

linking to:  Pour Your Heart Out

A Recipe For Love

Once upon a time when BadDad and I were even younger than we are now, we first met each other. By a fortuitous coincidence, we had both gotten jobs at the same company and that company transferred the two of us, and one other new hire, to the same city.

There we found ourselves, new to town, new to our jobs, and far away from our homes. Naturally the three of us spent lots of time together, exploring our new environment, and we all became fast friends. Somewhere along the way, BadDad and I realized separately that our feelings for each other were developing into something more than friendship.

One spring day I decided to bake a cake and invite BadDad and his roommate over to share it with me. I baked a banana cake from a mix and frosted it with canned frosting. My culinary standards have come a long way since then.

It turned out that only BadDad was able to come over. He was properly awed by my cooking skills, I'm sure. I believe it was as we conversed over cake and coffee, that he first began to fall deeply in love with me, and I with him.

Months later, BadDad (by then my boyfriend) invited me over to his apartment, where he promised to cook dinner for me. I watched in horror fascination as he proceeded to heat pasta, dump it on a plate, and pour cold, jarred sauce on the top. His technique, he told me, had been learned in college from a fraternity brother. The theory was that the hot pasta would heat the cold sauce with no need for a second pan.

Right then and there I realized that I would have to handle most of the cooking. So I quickly became much better at it. He's quite good at the eating part. In retrospect, I think that's the way he planned it.

We were married a mere 14 months after we started dating and we've never looked back. We just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say that they've been the best years of my life. Life has handed us great sorrows and abundant joy, and we've faced it all together.

When my children grow older and ask me how to know when you've found the one I will tell them about our recipe for love. When you find someone that will eat your sub-par cooking and still look at you with love in their eyes, telling you that it's amazing...it's a good sign.

In the interests of complete disclosure, my hubby says this topic is far too corny for anyone to enjoy reading about. He doesn't enjoy chick flicks either, so I can't trust his opinion too much about this. 

Driven to Extremes

Recently the kids were invited to a birthday party with a drive in movie theme. The hosts were going to set up a big screen in their back yard and all of the party goers were told to come equipped with cardboard box 'cars' that they made. 12 year old K-boy eschewed this invitation in favor of staying home with BadDad to watch scary movies, but M-girl and D-boy were enchanted with the idea and couldn't wait to get started on their cars.

Actually they didn't wait. No sooner had my hubby scrounged up a couple of empty cartons, then they set to work, visions of a pink convertible and an aquamarine big rig dancing in their heads. After much cutting of cardboard and usage of specially purchased duct tape, this is what their cars looked like.

Not quite party ready. I moaned and put it on my mental to do list. There it stayed until the day before the party.

By then I had two kids anxious that they wouldn't have functional cars for the party, and a colossal dread of the messy project ahead. Finally, I gathered new boxes and headed for the basement for some peace while I thought of how to assemble their dream cars. At times it would be simpler to have less creative children.

After much pondering, and more delaying, I realized that colored wrapping paper was the solution to all of our construction problems. A quick 4pm trip to Target, and we were ready to go with both hot pink and aquamarine paper. The kids were right there helping me, so hours later...we still weren't done and I sent everyone to bed.

The next morning (party day) I woke up bright, refreshed and panicked. We set to work like machines, cranking out tail fins, windshields, headlights and real working hoods. Finally, an hour or so before party time we were done and the cars were pretty darn amazing considering they were entirely made of cardboard, paper and tape. When I saw the grins on M-girl's and D-boy's faces, I was puffed up with super mom pride.

On the way out to the party M-girl piped up and said, Mom do you think Mrs. K. really meant for it to be so much work?

Oh, I'm sure everyone had a good time making their cars. This kind of work is fun! I replied.

Imagine my surprise when we arrived at the party only to discover that most of the other 'cars' were quite a bit simpler than ours. For starters they were still their original cardboard color, and didn't have the same degree of ornamentation as ours. Not a tail fin or whitewall tire in sight. The party goers, happy to be given licence to pretend, swarmed around, admiring all of the cars, and having the kind of carefree fun that children can have on a warm summer night.

Sigh! My hubby says I get a tad obsessed with perfection sometimes. Maybe this was one of those times? Perhaps I could have but the brakes on the crafting monster just a bit?

Still it was all worth it when D-boy, grin still firmly in place, asked on the way home from the party,

Mom, can I keep my truck forever?

Sure you can, Sweetheart. Sure you can.

linking to:  Pour Your Heart Out

When Six Year Olds Make Lunch

D-boy, my youngest is a six year old that loves to do things. If he sees something broken, he will try to figure out how to fix it. As often as not, when I'm in the kitchen he's right there helping me. He really is a help too, running to fetch ingredients almost before I need them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's a very capable child.

But...he also likes candy.

When I noticed at lunchtime the other day that he had already fixed himself a sandwich, I wasn't surprised. He does things like that. Then I took another look at his lunch choice.

Yes those are chocolate and butterscotch chips on there. At least it's on whole wheat bread!

linking to:  Finding the Funny

I'm Not Judging...But I Am

In general, I consider myself to be a nice person. I do my best to be courteous to others, and reach out a helping hand to those who need it. I consider it my duty as a parent to teach my children to use manners, and basically make the world a little brighter because we're in it.

Something that I try really, really, hard not to do is judge other people, especially other parents. I know everyone struggles to get through sometimes, parenting isn't easy, I'm not perfect myself etc. etc. I love children (particularly my own) but I realize that they can be unreasonable and demanding beings. Raising kids can put you in the middle of situations that the parenting manuals just don't warn you about. My own children have provided my hubby and I with our fair share of embarrassing moments. Often a fellow parent needs a lifeline rather than an opinion. I get all of that.

Sometimes though, I just can't help myself...I judge. In my years as a mom, I've encountered situations that honestly make me shake my head and think, I would never do that! Barring a complete mental lapse, I never will.

Perhaps it might be helpful if I describe some situations that cause me to narrow my eyes and think mean thoughts about other parents. I know I'm not the only one who does.

-If you're sitting in a restaurant, church, the movies, or anyplace where quiet is expected and your child starts screaming for longer than a couple of minutes, and you do nothing...I judge. Every parent in the world has been through the baby/toddler/temper tantrum in public phase. Those of us who are considerate of our fellow man will take the screaming child out to calm them, instead of inflicting their antics on others. Is it fun for the parent? No, but it's a passing phase if you take the time to teach your little darling that they're not the center of the universe and that if they want to be allowed out of the house they need to behave.

-If my twelve year old invites your twelve year old over for a swim and you take the liberty of sending your seven and nine year old over too, even though they weren't invited and I've never met you... I judge. I get it, you want a break because your kids are annoying hooligans who chase cats, throw toys all over and act way younger than their ages. It can't be fun to live with them, but guess what? I have better things to do with my time than to provide free child care for you.

-If I tell the above children that it's not a good time for us, and they start whining, It's not fair! Our parents said to come over till 6:30....I judge.

-If your child does come over to my house and proceeds to nag my kid for snacks and then throws the wrappers on the floor...I judge. I realize that this situation is out of your control, but teach some manners already!

-If you take your child to the library, a place that was traditionally a sanctuary of silence, and proceed to allow the child to loudly play while you are loudly chatting yourself...I judge. I get it that standards in the children's section have slipped relaxed a bit in recent years. It's still not a playground. Some people actually go there to research and read. It's not that hard to teach a toddler a library voice.

-If you take your child to a party, knowing that they are sick and contagious...I judge. Yes, it's hard to disappoint your child if they've been looking forward to the cake and balloons, but hey that's life. There will be other parties. Of course your kid might not be invited to them if it becomes known that you're a family of germ spreaders. Just saying.

I've now been a parent for almost thirteen years, and have experienced these situations more times than I care to recall. I could make my list longer, but then I might start to sound like a whiny parent and be forced to judge myself. What about you? What makes you completely lose sympathy and judge other parents?

linking to:  Pour Your Heart Out

Homeschooling Textbooks

I'm sorry that my posting has been a bit sporadic lately. I've been preoccupied with ordering textbooks and writing up IHIPs (Individualized Home Instruction Plans) for my three children. It's always a huge task during the summer, and one that I'm happy to finally have over with.

Here in New York state, we have to report to the local school district about certain required subjects, sharing each year what we plan to teach and submitting reports and assessments during the school year. My family, like many others, covers more academically than what the regulations require, but since I'm busy with the paperwork anyway it's a good time to get my book ordering done.

Selecting books stresses me out far more than the district paperwork. Although the cost is minimal compared to sending the kids to private school, textbooks are expensive - especially to a single income family like ours. I spend days poring over curriculum catalogues and websites, trying to choose the very best materials and track down the lowest prices. Whenever possible, I choose books that can be handed down from child to child to cut some of the overall cost. As we're now entering our fifth year of homeschooling, I've found some textbook series that work best for my children's learning styles. Still there's always some tweaking to be done and some trial and error involved.

So in case you've ever wondered what just over $500 worth of textbooks look like, wonder no more. These are just the new arrivals. I'll also be using books saved from other years, as well as some online curriculum and library resources. Still, at less than $200 per child for this year, I managed to get top quality materials.

After all of my stressing, it feels like Christmas when the boxes finally start arriving. I'll enjoy the rest of my summer more, knowing that I'm prepared with next year's materials. Now I've just got to get our schoolroom reorganized!